The Blue Trance

Sunset Leaving San Diego

“What day is it?”

There was a long pause.

The moment of silence dragged on as the three of us looked at each other, calculating furiously in our heads. Even when we started to venture guesses that the others agreed on, we had to verify our conclusion in the ship’s log and additionally consult the calendar to determine the right day of the week. After all that was done, we were left wondering, ‘What difference does it make?’.

It turns out the answer was, ‘Not much’. We were out sailing far off the coast of Baja Mexico. A few days before, we had finally finished our repairs, upgrades, and general resupply and preparation in San Diego. We had hoped to take things easy and sail  instead of motoring on our way out, but we wanted to do our check-in process in Ensenada, just over the border. Time was running out on our cat’s health certificate, good for just ten days from the date of issue. Also, the next day was Friday, and if we didn’t get in early enough, we worried that we’d have to wait until business hours again on Monday. That time, it made a difference.

Other cruisers do their check-in further down at Cabo San Lucas, but we chose Ensenada because of the cat health certificate, and for peace of mind while anchoring and going ashore on our way down the coast. It was additionally appealing because all of the various offices were together in one building, compared to other cities where they were spread all over the place. This made the process more streamlined, although we did have to wait around a bit since the Port Captain’s desk was empty at first. Some of our rush was unnecessary since the customs officers didn’t want to see the health certificate at all, even when we offered it. They barely even noticed what we had checked off on our paperwork; we probably could have written that we brought lots of guns and drugs and they would have just smiled and filed the forms away.

We were still glad to finish our exercise in government bureaucracy before the weekend, and in about two hours total, not counting a lunch break. It felt good to be done rushing around, and even better to sail a bit the next afternoon, instead of running the motor. We ran out of wind later on, and had to listen to the roar of the diesel beast overnight, but starting the next day we had plenty of breeze that lasted us all the way to Bahia de Tortugas.

That passage is still my favorite to date. Nothing especially interesting happened; no particularly memorable or happy events. The day we arrived, I could barely remember what had happened in the few days before – it just all melted together, making for a somewhat sparse journal entry for the middle day of the passage. We just sailed on and on; long blue days drifting by between brilliant starry nights. Sometimes there was more wind, sometimes less. We were long out of sight of land, or anything else for that matter.

What I did enjoy was the calmed state I found out in the sea. It was a quiet that was only partly related to the lack of engine noise. Most days (and nights) I spent simply sitting and looking at the waves, from the foredeck by day or the cockpit at night. It was mesmerizing – one long blue trance that I was happy to slip in to. Out at sea the boat seemed small, and any sense of urgency was lost in the vastness of sky and water.

Paul Checking Weather Models, Jen CookingIt wasn’t as if I became a zombie, or lacked drive or focus. We all still went about the daily activities onboard; trimming sails, adjusting course, taking notes in the ship’s log and making food every so often. Things also weren’t perfect the whole time – I would have liked the weather to have been slightly warmer and we discovered a small leak in the bow. The electric bilge pump became useless when its hose detached due to an aged coupling part, and we began a regular schedule of pumping the bilge manually. But the leak was small enough that even that became part of the routine, slipping away from the realm of things to worry about. The ocean was simply big enough to absorb all concerns, or put them in a new perspective.

Maintaining a laid-back attitude was not new to me, in general; I have always had a relatively steady disposition, and have become increasingly mellow over the years. Yet this was a new feeling, a state of peace greater than anything I had experienced before. The sea had reached out and quieted a part of me that I can only describe as my soul. Descartes determined that he existed because there was some entity to question that existence. I have often wondered if there was such a thing as a soul, but since that voyage I am rather convinced that they might exist because I felt mine becalmed by the sea.

Anchored in Bahia de TortugasAfter experiencing that, what did it matter what day it was? We had nothing to do on arrival, no agenda or schedule to follow. We would get there whenever we got there, and even that seemed to have less and less importance. With plenty of food and water, we could have sailed on comfortably for days. Except that we were interested in seeing the town and getting some rest, we could have just kept going and going. We were certainly happy to be in contact with friends and relatives again, but out at sea it felt like the rest of the world would carry on just fine without us.

When a light on the dark horizon could be a distant bright ship or a rising planet, perspectives change. Things that seem important just drift away, and the place that they occupied becomes filled with the wide expanse of ocean and sky. It is one of the best parts of cruising for me, and something that I can enjoy and look forward to on tough days. After all, there’s less that matters out there in the blue trance – not much, anyway.

The Sea (2010-09-22)

After arriving in Avalon and connecting to the world again, a friend asked about the trip. This poem was the result.

The SeaOrange Moon

Remember how you felt out on the water
Just feeling happy to be there, to exist with it?
Close your eyes and feel it again
How big it was, and endless

This is all that and more.

It is cold:
Moonless, starless, foggy nights
Dark except for the phosphorescent sparkle
On each wave, like a thousand fireflies
And our wake, churning up a path of glitter

Or an orange moonset, then so many stars
Dawn comes on the breakfast watch,
The only one that gets better, warmer.

Blue AfternoonIt is warm:
Bathed in sunlight, blue afternoons stretching on and on
Deck naps, anywhere naps.
Reading, sitting, listening to the VHF

Finally shedding layers and layers
Bare feet, surprisingly comfy

It is alive:
Rolling seas, dolphins frolicking before the bow wave
Things that sound so cliche, so overused, overdescribed
I cannot make them new and different, just with words
You have to be there, then you will feel it, you will understand.

Dolphins before the bow wave

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Worries (2010-03-18) – Part II

Continued From Part I

Jen on the steps of the St. Mary's CathedralThe next stop was St Mary’s Cathedral, which is the largest, although not tallest, cathedral in Australia. We didn’t intend to linger long – there’s only so much standing around and staring you can do in a place of worship without feeling intrusive. After admiring the sandstone architecture from the outside as much as possible, we slipped quietly into the dim sanctuary.

The atmosphere was hushed as we viewed colorful stained glass scenes and the grand roof, arched high above our heads. Sounds echoed up to it, and I had the urge to raise my voice in song to the vast resounding space. This is a common feeling I have in large cathedrals – there’s something about the beauty of the structure and the way the answering walls promise to be forgiving and love your voice back that makes it seem like I could and should produce a sound that would be lovely enough to add to and match well with the surroundings. However, I refrained from emitting more than a soft sigh of longing, as there were fervent worshipers in the pews whom I was loathe to interrupt. But to sing in a cathedral like that, just by myself, is on my list of things to accomplish in life (#52 to be exact); one day, I will enjoy that ultimate musical experience.

Amid our wanderings inside, I found an amazing painting that seemed out of place from the rest of the decorations. The stained glass and art on things like the Stations of the Cross were of an older style often found in Catholic cathedrals, which coordinated well with the building’s design. But there was one strikingly beautiful painting around a corner that really caught my eye. The modern, photorealistic style showed a simple, dark, desert background behind a beautiful girl smiling softly and holding a baby with intense dark eyes. They both had peaceful expressions – the infant was curious yet contemplative, and his mother showed a gentleness, and a willingness to be protective even through hard times. There were so many other feelings in that painting, many of them hard to express in words, but it brought more emotion to me than all of the other art in the whole building combined.

I would have liked to stand in front of that lovely image for a long time, but we had one last stop for the day: the Royal Botanic Gardens and The Domain. They were a combination of cultivated natural areas and gardens that spread over a peninsula on  the bay. It was a short walk from the city, and we were soon wandering on paths through grassy lawns and beneath a variety of trees. I am sadly lacking in botanical knowledge which would have given me greater appreciation of the multitudinous flora, but I still enjoyed the foliage as a whole.

Jen going barefoot in the Royal Botanic Gardens

The best part was a sign that I saw repeated throughout the grounds. It invited visitors to enjoy the area to its fullest, including walking barefoot in the grass and hugging the trees. This was all I needed to kick off my sandals from my tired feet and scrunch my toes into the soft grass. This was the vibe I had been looking for; everyone was barefoot at the beach, but this was in the city, a serious place of business that still had areas to be barefoot. It was important too that it wasn’t just something I liked and did that was tolerated – all people were *invited* to do it. This was the essence of the Australian spirit, the ‘No worries’ idea exemplified, and I couldn’t have asked for anything better.

A Cockatoo, not an uncommon sightThe rest on the time in the gardens was a pure pleasure; I’ve never liked shoes much  (or clothes for that matter), so wandering the paths and lawn spaces barefoot made all the difference. In addition to the well kept greenery, the birds were wonderfully fascinating. As we spotted different species along the paths, it appeared as though the entire exotic bird section of the local pet store had gotten loose in the trees. There were large white cockatoos, and parrots colored with the bright shades of a box of crayons. They were not, however, escapees from a tropical bird show; they were merely the common local wild birds. It was yet another thing in Australia’s favor, to have such interesting creatures as regular inhabitants.

There were plenty of other parts of the day,  interesting things that we saw and heard and learned and experienced, but that almost indescribable vibe was in all of them. Technically nothing magical or vastly unique happened – Sydney was a fairly average city, even if it felt like everyone was driving on the wrong side of the road. It was still nothing more than some big boats and a white wavy building, some grass between my toes, etc., but for me it was much more than that. You can say what you like about adding meaning where it doesn’t exist, but I think it was an example of gestaltAnother unique Australian bird at its finest; all of the objects and places and creatures and experiences were truly greater than the sum of their parts. I had come there to experience the vibe underneath it all, the normal and unadorned parts, to soak up the true feeling. And I am happy to report that the spirit that I found in Sydney that day, the one I had been warming up to Bondi and that filled me in Birubi, was wonderful and drew me in to soak up even more.

It was the laid-back ambience that I had always hoped for; a place with a bit of myself in it. Sydney, and all of Australia, are certainly unique, and while I could make some comparisons to other places, there’s nothing quite like experiencing the real thing. Australia has drawn me in with its own sort of ‘hug’ – one that invites you relax, kick off your shoes, and don’t worry. All I can say to that is, "Cheers mate!"

P.S. – If you’ve been wondering where the "No shirt" part comes in, well, I have to confess that it was mostly just representative of the relaxed attitude. But besides shirtless guys on the beach around Bondi, there’s actually a nude beach near one of the suburbs on the bay. That one you can go check out for yourself 😉